


shattered

by ofhobbitsandwomen (litvirg)



Series: got a hold on me [5]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Coda, F/M, missing make out scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 09:08:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9484379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/litvirg/pseuds/ofhobbitsandwomen
Summary: "It was the first time she’d seen any sort of uniform on him that looked like he’d put it on intentionally. His clothes had never had the firm pressed look of an officer. They hung off of him like they had always been there, like every type of weather had touched them, like he wore them because of how easily he could blend into a crowd with them. But the crisp green uniform looked intentional. He would have to walk different in it, she realized.His movements putting it on were smooth and casual, out of place for a man in that uniform and she couldn’t help but stare at him."missing make out scene ft. imperial!cassian & jyn





	

She’d been antsy the whole time. 

Probably normal, for someone going on a mission that would end in almost certain death, she thought. So she ignored it. Didn’t let it bother her. She learned to tune out the echoing thump of her pulse in her neck and the buzzing she could practically see in the air around her. She tapped her fingers mindlessly against the top of her knee and paid no attention to the patterns they made or the beat they kept. 

Jyn kept her eyes forward, waiting, hoping, and blocking everything else out. 

It wasn’t until they passed through the gates at Scarif that she let the glass bowl around her head fall to the ground and shatter by her feet. 

Though, truth be told, she wasn’t the one who shattered it. 

It was a look, just a single look. His arm was up and his head was tilted and he only caught her eye for a moment. But the half smile he forgot to stop as he let out a sudden, short breath of relief shook her to her core. And when his eyes slipped over to hers, every sound came crashing back into her, first all at once, then one by one by one until the thrumming of her heart drowned them all out again.

And when she scuttled by him to climb down the ladder Cassian had just pulled himself up from, she could hear his boots twisting against the ground. Twisting but not stepping aside and she could hear plain as day the thud her stomach gave as it dropped down lower as she brushed by him. 

“I’ll tell the others,” she mumbled as she passed him. 

She felt his eyes follow her as she climbed down the ladder, and she folded the thought up, tucking it away for later when she had a spare moment to think about why it sent a chill shooting down her back. 

***

The thought started unfolding itself when Bodhi shoved them down in the cockpit for the inspection. 

Her shoulders were slammed against Cassian’s and she could hear every breath he took. Slow and steady and even, like he was too aware of the rise and fall of his own chest. She felt as though she was timing the seconds of each of her own breaths, whether to make sure they stayed steady or to make sure she didn’t forget them, she couldn’t tell. 

The air around her was  _ overwhelmingly _ Cassian. 

Her breaths were timed in as his were timed out and she could feel their chests expanding one after the other like they were pushing off each other, a constant rhythm of back and forth and back and forth. She could smell the dirt and grime that covered him and she could feel his fingers as they twitched ever so slightly at her sides. Even when just the side of his arm was brushing against her, she felt consumed by him. The small cramped space around them giving her little else to focus on. 

Jyn was glad when the figure in the dark Imperial security uniform came into view. She raised her blaster and pushed aside all thoughts of Cassian, pulling the trigger and waiting for the next set of footsteps. 

***

The uniform was big on her. Large enough she could slip it over her clothes without a problem. She waited on the helmet, setting it aside until she needed it to walk with her face covered out onto the landing pad. She picked the chest plate up next, struggling to clip it into place but it was the last bit of the uniform she had to secure. 

She turned, glancing over to Cassian to ask for his help. 

It was the first time she’d seen any sort of uniform on him that looked like he’d put it on intentionally. His clothes had never had the firm pressed look of an officer. They hung off of him like they had always been there, like every type of weather had touched them, like he wore them because of how easily he could blend into a crowd with them. But the crisp green uniform looked intentional. He would have to walk different in it, she realized. 

His movements putting it on were smooth and casual, out of place for a man in that uniform and she couldn’t help but stare at him. 

The thought, tucked into the back corner of her mind, started unfolding itself again. 

She felt a blush creep up her cheeks as she watched his fingers, long and streaked with scars and dirt, fasten the last button. She wished she could have picked a different time for it all to come crashing over her. The warmth washing over her and the short tight breaths she didn’t quite have a word for. A more convenient time. Ideally, a time when they weren’t about to throw themselves into fifty different situations where they could both end up dead. 

But, she thought, that would probably never happen with them. So she stepped closer. 

His head shifted, lifting up to catch her eye. She felt the heat spread around her. She wondered if Cassian could feel it pouring off of her skin. 

He glanced down to the breast plate, still unfastened, and reached his hand forward tentatively. “Need a hand?” he asked her. 

Jyn nodded quickly, stepping forward, her helmet still gripped in her hand. 

His hand was at her back when she made the choice. The plate was clipped into place and he was playing with the bits on her shoulders and just below her neck to make sure it didn’t slip where it wasn’t supposed to.  Twisting to meet his eye, she let her hand wander up to the neck of his shirt. 

Cassian stilled as her hands curled in around the collar of it, and Jyn made no move beyond that. She felt the air again, his breaths pressing into her, forcing her own out. The back and forth again and again and again. They were running out of time. The window was small and they had to take it. But his eyes were locked on hers and she wasn’t sure she could be counted on to measure time right when he was looking down at her like that. 

His lips were chapped. She could see the dry cracked skin from where she stood. He’d stepped closer without her noticing and when she finally dragged her eyes back up to his, they were down, watching the breaths slip in and out between her own lips. 

She felt the air ripple cooly down her back again. 

“Jyn,” he said, his eyebrows quirked up in question and she couldn’t take it any longer. 

Her hand got stuck between them as she pulled him down, stumbling back and ignoring the sound of the helmet tumbling to the ground next to them. 

They had moments, only moments before they had to switch back into themselves, but for the first time since they’d boarded the cargo ship she couldn’t hear the ticking of the invisible clock, planted at the back of her mind. She couldn’t hear her own heartbeat she couldn’t hear her breaths anymore. Instead of the thick glass bubble that had formed over her head on their way in, she was surrounded, engulfed,  _ consumed _ by Cassian. 

His own arms had worked around her, coming up just under the back of the plate he’d just helped secure, burning through her clothes as he pushed his arms into her, pinning her against him. 

She wished she’d done this before they were all dressed and ready, when she would still be able to feel him pressed against her through the thin material of her own clothes, instead of having to press harder, push further to feel him through the layers. But then one of his hands lifted up, his fingers dancing across the skin of her neck and the sound of her thoughts were drowned out by buzzing. 

It wasn’t a confession or a promise or an oath. It wasn’t for luck or for hope or for confidence. It was a taste, a brief one in every breath, of freedom. And Jyn had the fleeting thought that it was the first taste either of them had ever truly had. When they pulled away from each other, flushed and still breathing heavily, she could see her own hunger for it reflected back at her in Cassian’s eyes. 

He cleared his throat and she bent down and grabbed her helmet, hearing Bodhi’s voice call to them from overhead. Maybe there would be another chance. Maybe they’d find another moment. 

But they had a job to do. So she grabbed the thoughts flying around her head and folded them up, one by one, and tucked them back into the corner for later. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr @ofhobbitsandwomen


End file.
